I Want to be a Christian

I want to be a Christian


by Caroline Emma Beverage

I want to be a Christian
a lying little meanie,
act like I’m a weenie,
cause that's what Christians do.

I want to be a Christian
lie about the heathens
kick around some pagans
because that's what Christians do.

I want to be Christian
beat anyone who crosses me
I've got that book to back up me
and that's what Christians do.

I'll give you hell and act like Satan
tell you how bad you are
while ignoring all that Christ has said
because that's what Christians do.

I'll make you wish that you were dead
that's easier than working on my own head
and I won’t listen to a thing you’ve said
because that's what Christians do.

And if you frighten me at all
I’ll trip and beat and make you fall.
Make you wish you didn’t exist at all
Because that’s what Christians do.
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